You

You

I miss your skin.
As smooth as silk pulled tight
Across a lanky frame.
White as ivory stained with ink
As dark as night.
And the occasional freckle.
I named each one while you slept
And connected the dots to form
Constellations across your back.
And I wondered how many miles
Would bring me to you.

Velvet

Velvet

And the time has come.

To put into text.

My mind.

It feels so good.

To write again.

To type again.

To feel the click of each key,

Sliding beneath the tips,

Of my flesh.

To find and search,

For something.

That has never existed.

To feel the heat,

Of my hard drive,

Humming away on my lap,

Warming me with energy.

To see the florescent glow,

Illuminating my text.

Keeping me,

In a fog of light,

While surrounding me.

With velvet black.

Trip

Trip

A philosopher took me to see an acid trip.

On the thinest wire, in the center of Allston.

Spinning in little drips and webbing in massive webs.

Singing and sting and running all around my head.

Hollow aches a mourning heart.

That pumps on empty, blood run black.

A tired trickle that makes you sick.

An awful frighting sound.

Feast

Feast

There are these things that emerge from the darkness.

They crawl into the light with grins in their eyes.

And smirks on their minds, teeth white and wide.

Looking for a feast of flesh at least.

To satisfy their quench for human hearts,

And blood soaked passion.

Stinging the air with a poisonous stench,

Made from the depths of hell,

Which rots our noises with a lingering oder.

And all the while, we sit and smile.

Hoping to become their next meal.

Helpless and hopeless, just standing around,

As they tear us limb from limb.

Drunk

Drunk

Humanity is such a fragile thing.

It quietly bubbles under our blistering tongues.

Fizzing in the hot baking sun.

Of our brittle hearts.

Choking our grasp on reality.

The meaning which we strive to find.

And the belief we pretend to be blessed with.

Sting hollow veins with morning breath.

A tyrants tear in late May's bloom.

A tender touch of human thought.

Blessed are we who follow truth.

For light wanders not into into darkness,

But into black.

On which our heavy hearts migrate,

Into tar burdened shoulders,

Shrugging endlessly into horizons grasp.

Holding our fingers while we dangle.

On the verge of sanity's depths.

Forever mourning on the thin reach of God,

Who holds our souls within eternity.

Forgive us for our sins.

And lay us down to rest.

For only you will ever know,

The taste you made to give life breath.

I Can Imagine...

I Can Imagine...

The way your throat moves, a vibrating tickle as you talk.
The face I make when I forget to knock.
And when I meet the girl you truly love.
Lying naked on your bed, looking up at me up above.
And the way your hands move, scratching down my skin.
Covering my mouth so no one will hear you sin.
The way your eyes squint in the scorching sun.
And the way you said you only wanted to have fun.
And the way our bodies move under your cotton sheet.
The way you always turn away, every time we meet.
The way that I lied and pretended to be her.
Same body, same face, slowly did I lure,
You in with this girl that I'm really not.
And the way that I cried on this and caused the ink to blot.

Molt

Molt

God gave you up.

Deformed you and beat you.

Settled you on a dove's back.

And let you fall from grace.

And your mother was ashamed.

Cried and cried every day.

Called you every name.

To break your heart.

"You've got the lot to burn

A shelve of pig smotherd cries

Is there a spirit that spits

Upon the exit of signs

Is anybody there

(spines in a row)

These steps keep on growing long

(spite as an arrow)

Bayonet trials rust propellers await"

California

California

There was a knack, in my brain, in the back.

A simple little tick, every time you would lick,

Or stroke my hip, and try to bite my lip.

It was a secret concealed, until it all congealed into.

Rubbery goo, who the hell were you?

To say that love is a thing, maybe a diamond ring.

And that all I was, was a fuck just because.

And you waved goodbye, while I was flying high.

Under silky black skies, both concealing our lies.

And holding your hand, your skin kissed with sand,

From the shore of Cali, but not unlike Maui.

And every time I closed my eyes, asking all my "whys".

And begging for time, maybe to just mime.

The mimics of your voice, and give me the choice,

To sleep in the crease, of your arms at least.

And I know you couldn't care, and it's really only fair.

Because I set you up, like when I sank the last cup.

And pulled you aside, called you one hell of a guy.

I love you for a moment, and gave you up like lent.

But if it's all a stain, on your pulsating brain.

And I'm not the one, to soak in your sun.

I'd rather rot away, than remain quite cliche.

And say unrequited love, is what I'm in the habit of.

RedRum

RedRum

Your thick milk white bones.

And the crunch of your knobby knotted spine.

Give me this peace.

An overwhelming sense.

Of darkness.

And night.

Drown me.

Until all I can feel.

Is you.

Wet and warm.

Spewing blood onto me.

Sting

Sting

The moisture sucked from your mouth.

Soggy and stale.

Breathing in and out.

The sour air.

Puckering your lips.

With every gasp.

A new lingering taste.

Clings to your teeth.

Begging your mouth.

For a wave of saliva.

To wash away.

The acidity of my kiss.

Venomous tongue.

Pink with poisons.

Wet with guilt.

Soft with love.

Skin on Skin

Skin on Skin

The slice that your flesh makes.

Cold against mine.

Sends a shiver.

Across my spine.

Amerrriiicaaann

Amerrriiicaaann

"We say anytime, anywhere, just show your teeth and strike the fear
Of god wears camouflage, cries at night and drives a dodge"

Senses

Senses

Bitter is the taste,

Your nectar gives,

Upon my cheek and mouth.

So syrupy and sweet,

To touch, to kiss,

Along your bearded lips.

As mine are salty,

A tear upon your cheek,

Dripping slowly,

Across your crown,

A king in any sense.

And I, a witch,

To cast a spell,

Manipulate your heart,

Until it crumbles,

Turns to stone,

And makes a dying sound.

You And Me Too

You And Me Too

There was never a going back.

It was all just pretend.

A figment of our minds.

Thrust into reality for a moment or two.

Only to disintegrate,

Back into the realm of imagination.

And everything that was palpable.

And so very true blue.

Everything that we grasped onto,

Everything we depended on.

Just seems so phony.

It just seems so worthless.

This waste of time has stung me,

With the worthlessness of,

A once meaningful task.

The ways in which you affected me,

Are now the things that have become me, you.

And so with everything that you have made me into.

A monster, a creature.

With blood red eyes and murky heart.

With sharped senses and sandpaper skin.

Begins to form me.

The being I am.

I guess there was never really a going back.

Contrast

Contrast

The amazing thing about beauty, is that, it is only intensified by darkness. It is only more appreciated under the existence of sin. The existence of negative forces in our life cause us to admire the beauty of our world in a new and profound light. Lately the things i have seen with a new appreciation for have been...

The woods on a crisp fall day right as trees are either dead or dying. The the way the sun shines through the over brush leaving thin trails of light along the path and casting shadows down the trunks of every decaying tree.

How intricate and delicate every thorn on a rose bush is. How they almost outshine the beauty of the most perfect rose.

The molting feathers in the bottom of my birds cage. How they're grey and small, but the perfect color. Not too cold of a grey. Just the right tinge. A comforting grey that reminds me of his eyes.

Boy

Boy

There was always a bitterness about you.

A sort of self pity and raw intensity.

That got me off.

There was always that sweetness in your touch.

That light brush of your fingertips across my hip.

That made me giggle.

There was always that Georgia drawl.

The one you tried to hide behind your Boston lips.

That made me laugh.

There was always a spark in your heart.

A tiny fire keeping you warm.

That made you human.

There was always that thick gray smoke.

Smoldering away in your pupils.

That made me want you.

But there were other things,

Those T.V. shows.

Those lap dances.

Those drunken calls.

And spilled drinks.

Your unshaven chin.

Your dirty fingernails.

Your smirk.

Numb3ers

Numb3ers

Did you ever understand,

The complicity of our love?

Or maybe it was me,

Who didn't comprehend,

The simplicity of our love.

Maybe it was me.

Just maybe,

I over analyzed.

Over calculated.

Our formula.

Maybe we were never the mathematical type.

Maybe it was just me.

Just maybe.

Without numbers and calculators,

We could have made it.

Bite

Bite

Sometimes the simplest of things,

Can become the hardest to bear.

Like when you touched my eyelid.

And told me to sleep.

Or when you ran your fingers through my hair.

And told me to fuck.

Or when you hit that piano key.

And it rang for hours inside of me.

Sometimes the darkest nights,

Will keep you awake.

Just wondering how did I become this way.

So bitter and haunted,

Just lost in the dirt.

Digging mud out of your soggy brain.

And bitting your nail.

Tasting blood that's already become stale.

Sometimes you lie out of need.

But most of the time you just don't say anything.

Your eyes are so hard.

But your hands are so tender.

Living your life to the chords,

Of an out of tune fender.

Strumming away til your drunk.

Just looking to find the right funk.

List

List

Crawl.

Creep.

Devour.

Destroy.

I've made this world for you to enjoy.

Sin.

Steal.

Make.

Ache.

Even a child's heart try and break.

Kill.

Decay.

Manipulate.

This game.

The world is getting pretty fucking lame.

No Fun

No Fun

When your secrets

Unraveled themselves before me

You took a sigh of relief

Like the creature clawing at your heart

Finally slept.

But my creature wept.

Because the strength it took to let yours rest

Does not exist inside me

And I felt naked in my wool sweater

Exposed to the elements of a harsh winter_

I knew was yet to come.

I pray now that you never know

Or find out.

About what I really am.