Because...



I'm sorry that I can't just "not."
That every urge, everyone else.
Gets in the way, of us making any progress.
I'm typing this here because...
I'll never tell you to your face.
I'll never tell you about him,
or that other guy,
or the one after that.
I'll never do that.
Because in the scheme of things,
 It's not worth it.
I'm typing this here because...
One day I think you'll find out.
How I really am and all,
And you'll want an apology.
But I'll have already given one.
And you wont even know.

So, 


Sorry.

Tastebuds



I'm going to taste every inch of this summer.
Every last salty ocean breeze, every last pink sizzling burn. 
Every last brown speckled freckle.
Your sweet coconut suntan lotion skin.
Every last blond haired,
Blue eyed, Inch of you.
Or his green polo, the one I made fun of that time.
Or the way he asked me what was wrong.
And the way I told him, I was just tired.
Every last lick, of my pistachio cool green soft serve.
Don't forget the jimmies. 
Every sweat soaked brow, on a scorching hot day.
When every parking lot, turns into.
A burning metal wasteland.
And above every car you can see, the heat.
Just soaking into the air, distorting everything in a wavy blur.
I want to taste every devious smile.
Every smirk you send in my direction.
Every time you hook my leg around your torso and whisper in my ear.
And every time I tell you I have to go home, but secretly want to stay.
I want to taste every tiny grain of sand.
Every endless spiral of conch shell.
Every periwinkle, starfish, even every hermit crab.
I want to taste every last inch of that first jump into the pool.
After sitting in the sun all day, baking.
The way that water hits your skin, so cold.
First your toes and then your legs and then everywhere else.
And how it surrounds you and your open your eyes.
And the world is in front of you.
Blue and lucid.
And you can't breathe but it's the only place where you can just take a breath.


Face Eater





I don't know why.
But for the first time.
In a long time.
I feel at home in your arms.

Hide

Telephone wires,
Cellphones,
Cameras,
Finger nail polish,
Ear phones,
Self tanner,
Plaster dreams,
Concrete oceans.


Our existence is being manipulated.
Get out while you still can.

Meat



I'm sick of being overrated, outdated, super jaded.

Everything about today screams falsity. 
I have been getting this feeling that everything and everyone is completely fake and vacant.
That we are just meat suits.
Walking talking meat suits.
And that all this time, were walking around.
It's kinda unnatural.
And creepy.
And if we take our meet suits off for one second.
They'll rot away and our skeletons will dance around.
Free from their meaty cage.

Maybe they'll all start to tango.
Tango on the rotting flesh of our phony epidermis'.

Nothing Else To Blog About

I've been slipping through all my old memories, the ones of you and me, and the times we lied together on the couch and watched Law and Order and all those cooking shows. And how i secretly only wanted to watch HgTv because I knew that Candace Olsen was on, and she's my favorite designer. And all those times you didn't stick up for me in front of your mom's boyfriend when he mocked me with Jumbo still dribbling from the corners of his mouth. And all those times that we did what you wanted to do and not what i wanted to do, like waiting for you for hours in the cold, sniffling in my eskimo parka. Or how you left me outside the town hall. Getting drunk instead of loving me. Your not real to me anymore. I've neglected my feelings and thoughts for so long that I coerced myself into missing you, into wanting you back.

Too bad I was a fool. I could have waisted my time on someone so much cooler than you. 

Love On The Rocks


I feel like if i pretend to love you,
Then maybe one day,
I will forget.
About the fact that I don't actually.
And then we can fly away.
Together.
I can only wish.

Heroes

Michael Jackson shaped the music we listen to today.
He influenced generations of artists to come.
He was a God in the pop industry.

He loved the world of glitter and divas, of Judy Garland and Diana Ross. He was the pop star of the era of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, or ET and Star Wars, futuristic in style yet terminally sentimental in content.

-Richard Williams

"Michael was and will remain one of the greatest entertainers that ever lived. He was exceptional, artistic and original. He gave the world his heart and soul through his music."
-Berry Gordy
MJ, we miss you.

Sunshine



Sepia toned girl.
Nightingale and sparrow in hand. 
Sun kissed freckles and sandy blonde hair.
The places you hid,
From the world.
Are gone.
Broken and burned.
So let your birds go and move on.

Faux Fun

Those things we did. Those things you did_ to me.
In the dark of that room. The fluorescent glow from your television.
And the hazy gleam from your window, 
Warning us of dawn.
Those things, when I just wanted to sleep.
And cry.
The television singing us lullabies,
With infomercials.
The superficiality of the beauty.
The illness,
Black and infecting.

Poison



I've been holding down your secrets.
I've been trying to stomach them.
They don't sit well with me.
I wish i could just tell you,
"Stop."

Your lies are making me sick.
Your truths are slowly killing me.

Typewriter Blues


For a long time_ I was afraid to call up by old friends.
I was afraid they would be changed.
It wasn't until I did, that i realized.

It wasn't them who had changed_
I feel strange.
These hands aren't mine. My touch isn't yours.

Tracing the lines, in my palms. 
Before I type.

No One Would Riot For Less


"Death may come invisible or in a holy wall of fire
In the breath between the markers on some black I-80 mile
From the madness of the governments to the vengeance of the sea
Everything is eclipsed by the shape of destiny

So love me now
Hell is coming
Kiss my mouth
Hell is here

Little soldier, little insect, you know war it has no heart
It will kill you in the sunshine or happily in the dark
Where kindness is a card game or a bent-up cigarette
In the trenches, in the hard rain, with a bullet and a bet

He says, "help me out"
Hell is coming
Could you do it now?
Hell is here

See the sterile soil,
Poisoned sky
Yellow water,
Final scraps of life
Bringing new tears

Wake, Baby, wake but leave that blanket around you there is no where as safe
I'm leaving this place but there is nothing I'm planning to take
Just you
Just you"
 


Not The Atlantic


The ocean, holds me. Drags me under. Plays Rough.

My ocean, chills my feet.
Splashes me.
Come play, come play.
It screams.

Drags me under, Drags me under.

Sex, love, money, drugs, rock and roll. Stops existing. In my ocean.
All but dreams.
My dream ocean.
So beautiful.

Facepaint



We paint our faces on every night.
Right after we brush our teeth.
Before we lie in bed.
And we let the colors,
Run onto our pillows. 
and Stain our sheets.

In the morning we take them off.
And go to work.

Sometimes you forget to wash off,
That little bit near your ear.
and I lick my finger.
And rub it off
As your run out the door.


The Boy

Photobucket
I feel asleep, dreaming of you.
When I woke up, you were gone.
The only thing that was left,

To show for all my dreaming.

Was a cigarette butt,
And the stale remnant of your memory. 

Coolski





We're cool kids.
Cool as they come.
Yeah so cool.
Getting drunk.
Smoking cigs.
Ripping bong.
Yeah we're so cool.
Cool as they come.
I'm so sick of it all.
Fuck being cool. 
I don't need this.

Nutrtion

Photobucket

The roots of my heart,
Are malnourished,
Dehydrated,
Sick.

Help me to water them.

Either, Or

art Pictures, Images and Photos
I born to be_
In the crevasse of your arms.
On the soft of your skin.
I was born to be held.
Or loved.

We all were.

No Vacancy

I breath in and out.
Over and over.
Second after second.
I exist to breath.
Not to believe.
I am an entirely meaningless being.
Yet I create,
And search for beauty.
What does it mean?

Is our purpose in life just to search for meaning.
To create it?
And if we find it will we seize to be human?

Octopi, Octopi

indie art Pictures, Images and Photos

Be my octopus lover.
I'll hold your tentacles back when your sick.
Just try not to ink on me.

Smoke

smoke Pictures, Images and Photos

Dirty cigarettes in my teeth.
Wearing that old jean shirt. 
The one with the paint smudge.
Thinking of you.
Why I turned inside out.

My stomach hurts.
But my heart hurts more.
I think seeing happy couples makes me sick.
Or maybe it's just the nicotine. 

Who knows.
Who knows enough about love, 
To actually write about it.
I guess that's why I'm good at that.

I'm too naive to know better.
Too stupid to stop.

Pass Out Lovers



_Your blue lava lamp makes
Shadows cast by our intertwined bodies
Bones pilled in your  closet
Sleep now I'll love you tonight
And then leave you In the morning_

Annoying Boy


People are enigmas. 
Complicated and deceptive enigmas.
Every breath they take has a hidden meaning.
Every step they take is to better themselves.
Selfish and greedy enigmas.

It kills me that you only text me when your drunk.
Not just you. 
All of you.
It's like, 
"IT'S ELEVEN AT NIGHT, YOUR DRUNK, TRUST ME, I KNOW WHY YOUR TEXTING ME."

God, your stupid.
You drive me up a wall.
Im never going to be your "Booty Call."
God, I hate that I just typed that.

Lykke Li



…and for you I keep my legs apart, and forget about my tainted heart.

OMFG


I'm sorry I had to.

48 Hours

Every knows everything about running away.
And moving on.
Like it's some sort of fairytale.
Just getting out.
Take your shoes and pack of cigarettes and,
Just leaving.
Going down the road.
Dust following your feet.
And finding home.

Confessions

  1. I still have feelings for every person I've kissed, minus two.
  2. Your the best friend I have ever had, don't disappoint me like the rest.
  3. I don't always want to be known as a Barbie.
  4. I'm jealous of Liz.
  5. I will never be fully secure with my body.
  6. I can fall asleep within 0.5 seconds of hearing my math teacher's voice.
  7. Holden Caufield turns me on.
  8. I'm a huge pervert, I love older men.
  9. I never feel truly connected to another person.
  10. I hate you and love you at the same time.
  11. I talk about God or him when I'm too drunk.
  12. I think about sex when I get bored.
  13. I go on my swing set everyday.
  14. I'll never look at you the same way.
  15. I don't mind being used as long as I get something in return.
  16. I think I want a boyfriend, but I just can't commit.
  17. For brief moments after I talked to you I imagined putting your teeth on a curb and stomping on the back of your skull.
  18. I want you.
  19. I cried the first time I heard Jolene.
  20. He's my pretty.
  21. I think ugly cats are hilarious.
  22. I wish I was witty rather than sarcastic.
  23. It doesn't matter what you were trying to do, you did it. Your facade does'nt fool me.
  24. I have the most emotional PMS ever.
  25. I would rather eat a cheesy enchilada than have sex.
  26. I hate people who whine about living in Winchester.
  27. I want to treat my parents better.
  28. My anger controls me.
  29. Sometimes I think about my funeral, who would come.
  30. I want to be know as somebody.
  31. Art flows through ever bit of my soul.
  32. I think Pinky and The Brain has the best theme song of all time.
  33. Too much television makes me feel sick.
  34. I still talk shit about you, even though I'm not really mad.
  35. Smoking is my way of saying "Fuck you" to my body.
  36. I draw babies being eaten by carnivores skulls.
  37. I toy with people.
  38. Watch out for my smirk.
  39. I do bite.
  40. When I go to the ocean I fall in love.

One Liners

Ocean Curls.

Tender Touch.

Softly Sweep.

The Open Wind.

Wince in Pain.

Sting Your Eyes.

And Drift Away.

Into Heaven's Grasp.

Above.

Among All Idols.

Stone and Dirt.

Wooden Jesus.

Holds Your Crucifix.

Modern Art

photography Pictures, Images and Photos

Frame

When we were fools. We used to write.
I love you on the insides of our eyelids.

We were fools then.

You would string me along, like a clothing line.
Pulled me in and wrung me out to dry.

Touching toes under diner tables.
Touching skin under picnic blankets.

Ants and Apples sucked away at our existence.
Sweet juice and bloody antennas watched us fall.

Just fools.

CREW KIDS Pictures, Images and Photos

BodyQuake



Hope sits dormant.
In the back of your throat.
Love lies still.
In the corners of your eyes.

Lies submerse themselves.
In the pit of your stomach.
Dreams, unfulfilled.
Nuzzled between your toes.

Inside Out




It eats. 
Gorging on my soul, my very essence.
Feasting in delight.
The creature.

It knows nothing of time,
or love.
or evil.
or good.
It just eats.

It just consumes.
And takes and steals.

Anger contaminates me. 
I feel my disease.
Rotting me.
From the inside out.

I feel it squirm 
And claw 
And itch
In the darkness
Of my
Pulsating heart.

Imaginary Friend

love photography Pictures, Images and Photos

Your words have been tickling the back of my brain for too long.
Far too long.
I can't open my mouth, to eat or floss for fear of my cranium letting lose.
All those things you said to me.
Buried beneath pillows.
Snuggled in your chest.
I imagined you once.
The man I loved.
Holding onto my purse.
Carrying me drunk in the snow.
I think you were funny and smart.
Sweet but sour.
And your laugh.
Like the sound of a honey.
Silky, smooth.
Sweet. 
Sweet eyes boy.
I see past them not through them.
I live in them.

Thicker Than Blood

love photography Pictures, Images and Photos

When all my sorrys are gone, when all my forgive mes are up, 
I hope that there will still be someone to say, it's okay.

I don't give many second chances. 
But there are some, 
No matter what they do.
I just cant not miss them. 

I'm out of luck.

J. D. Thankyou


I've been growing up in a changing world.
With changing times,
And changing people.
Changing music,
And fashion,
And traffic light colors.

I like Holden, from Catcher In The Rye. He cherishes the small securities in life that don't change. That won't. Museums, stuck in time, dwelling in the past.  


Mint Julep

Bella and I love our facials.
They make us feel pretty.
Don't we look pretty?

Scars


Everything corrodes with time.
That wooden path that you remember climbing down to the beach on as a kid has been replaced with rot and moss and dust. Your parent's marriage has become a divorce. That photograph of your grandfather has turned sepia and is fraying at the edges and those blue mittens you loved at one time are now being viciously devoured by the greedy moths that lurk in the storage basement. They're hole-y now. This earth will crumble and crack under the weight of father time. He will destroy all who do not obey. All who do not bow before them, he shall burn. Time heals no wounds, he creates them.