Fruit

Fruit

How does it taste?

The bitterness of her voice.

How many times have you relived that sensation_

Sour lemons. Sliding around on your taste buds.

Dancing a waltz along the ridges of your tongue.

Dripping down your once soft lips.

Lips that are now cracked and stinging from acidity.

Lips that I touched, inside your maroon sheets.

While we whispered to each other, your skin_

Glowing from the light of the television

Casting a shadow onto your father's old radio.

Playing illusions on our eyes.

Confessions Part II

Confessions Part II

I think I fell in love with you.

And those eyes you hide behind busy brows.

The way you admire your dad, and the way you read that composition notebook, your voice filled with such a raw intensity. They way your hand shook and I had to stop it. The way you like to hear your own voice but not in a pretentious way. The way your clumsily beautiful. The way your real and so breakable. The way he asked me if I wanted you and I laughed and said I was going to bed. And I did. With no regrets. Not for the lie or for the sleep. So when you woke up we smoked our butts and I said my goodbyes but you didn't know it. If anything, I think you have beauty, embedded into the deepest sections of your soul.

"What do you mean we, paleface?"

Ber The Bear

Ber The Bear

I woke up in the middle of the night. Your were sound asleep. Your back was against mine. And I shivered in my purple flannel, because we had no covers. Just sleeping on a bare mattress in the middle of your friend's dorm. And all I could think about was that Leonardo Di Caprio we had been watching earlier and how fucked up it made my brain feel. And my toe still hurt from when I stubbed it at that party. We smelled like beer and cigarettes. Then in the morning you took me to China town and we looked at samurai swords. Just kids.

Season

Season

The photograph of us floated away through the murky water while we were tire jumping into you grandfathers lake in late august. I found it washed up on shore that september. A fish had nibbled out our eyeballs. We were just blind. And grinning.

We were transparent,

Simple and see-through.

Brilliant and naive.

Swimming in a sea brimming with hope.

Your acorn beard scratching my fingertips.

Warning me of august.

Pony War

Pony War

When I thought you were dead_

I sprinkled_ rain water

Across your eyelids.

And said a tiny prayer.

For your unborn son or daughter.

Who would lose the sight of your face.

For good.

Rhymes With...

Rhymes With...

You always turned me on so bright.

Liked to watch me all ignite.

And burn away with all my spite.

Used to think you were my shining night.

Riding on a horse so white.

Overcoming every plight.

But now I know your filled with fright.

This has kept me up all night.

Got so many ghouls to fight.

Bathing in the pale moonlight.

Looking for a way to make it right.

Textbook True

Textbook True

Yeah, well it's been a dream.

A real good dream.

But I know when the going gets too damn good.

It's really just pretty rough.

I guess I'm really sick of learning lessons,

From you, in my dreams,

While i toss myself.

Just reaching for a part of you,

That wasn't ever fiction.

That was really what it seemed.

Hard and textbook true.

I guess that was never really you.

"I guess your kind of truth is just a ghost of your lies, I see through them all the time."

Blue Baby

Blue Baby

Your eyes can give you away on hot summer days. I know your sweating when I see your irises turn gray. And your hair can hide everything but the truth. Because the more messed up, the more fucked you are.

Sweet girl, getting lost in such an ugly world. Such a pretty face, such a child's smile.

"...Can't you find a clue when your eyes are all painted Sinatra blue..."

Aspiration

Aspiration

Ever meet someone so mind blowing, so explosive, so vibrant and filled with a sweet and genuine goodness? Someone who leaves you completely yearning for their company that everyone and everything sinks into the murky grays of everyday living. Someone who leaves their essence so deeply entangled into your soul that it becomes a part of you. Someone so pure and so beautiful that they just leave you speechless and in awe of the possibilities of the world and the potential of your own humanity. Someone who defies the boundaries of love with just a glint in their eye. Someone who can look in the world for its beauty and say "I will not be broken by you, I will not succumb to the evils you burden on my shoulders. I will not hide or cower in fear of your wrath. I will not lose my faith or my love because of tragedy. I will remain strong, yet open and tender. I will not let this world destroy everything I have been blessed with."

Aliens

Aliens

We're all just waiting.

Waiting for something to come.

Something to take us.

And break us.

And make us really live.

Something to shake us.

And make us.

And let us just forgive.

Bonnie, Baby

Bonnie, Baby

The man who made me believe that God exists in music.

Plant

Plant

There are things.

Things that can rip you open.

Things that can rip you open and plant seeds inside you.

Little growing seeds that feed off your good.

Little growing seeds that yearn for the warmth of you blood.

Little growing seeds that manifest darkness and wrath inside you.

In one moment.

One instant.

They can tear you apart.

And everything you even have known.

Love, Christ, family,

Will disintegrate beneath the burden of what you've seen.

The secrets that caress you late at night.

The secrets that hum you to sleep.

The secrets that keep you cold on summer nights.

Just shivering under you quilt.

Regrets

Regrets

Tenderness never suited me all that well.

I kind of always turned too bitter.

Lemon-y and sour for good.

And your touch never suited me all that well.

I kind of always turned back to him.

No matter how many times he pushed me away.

And my eyes never suited me all that well.

I kind of always gave myself away.

Even when I knew much better.

And life gives you what you got and takes what it gives and leaves you wishing you had something more. So the things that never suited me became what I got and now I'm wishing you would kneel down at my door.

Coins

Coins

There is a part of us.

Looming and hovering in the shadows of our hearts.

That provides shelter to all our horrors.

All the sickness that thrives inside us.

All our humanity resides there.

Photographable like ghosts,

But reflection-less like vampires.

Piles of rot are stinking up out chest.

The hollow cavity,

Makes metal noises,

Like the sound of poured gold coins

Ka-chinking around in your ribcage.

And the only way we show this side,

To the awareness of other human eyes.

Is to regurgitate this rotting pit of acid,

Onto their new Express sweaters.

Cloud Woman

Cloud Woman

Professionally Stylized Video Chat.

Amanda And Hailey Style.

Ant Farm

Ant Farm

I've imagined you a thousand times.

Slipping in and out of my life.

From dream to dream.

From memory to memory.

I've imagined us on bridges and river banks.

And apartments and hospitals.

Doing drugs and getting love.

Smoking cigs just you and me, talking bout important stuff.

But in the end its all you are. A figment of my imagination.

Your touch, your kiss, your voice, your lips, are not really yours at all.

And I can see you falling part in every nightmare.

Oozing out of skin.

As cockroaches drop from your eyes sockets and worms crawl out from your toes. 

And suddenly you burst to a giant swarm of ants and you eat me away to my core.

Just nibbling and biting and sucking away at every inch of me there's left to chew.

Wolves

Wolves

I'm sick of being "loved" and left.

"Someday my pain

Someday my pain will mark you

Harness your blame

Harness your blame, walk through"

Eww

Eww

I've been seeing everyone differently now. 

I've been seeing every flaw in them.

Every dent, carved from the good inside them.

Every little nuisance and annoyance.

Every phony word.

Every time they talk my head begins to hurt. 

It makes me want to vomit. 

Maybe on them a little. 

Like every word that is ever even spoken by them is what they think will make them cool. Like every action is how they want to act and not actually who they are. Like every time they dye their hair, or change their accent or get new friends, they're just reeking of impostor intentions.

I miss bright eyed people, with unspoiled intentions.

I miss people who see a world of hidden beauty.

I miss people who couldn't hide their true soul.

I miss people who could leave a piece of themselves inside me.

I miss people who are worth missing.

I'm sick of these phonies who are drowning in their own self pity and teenage angst.

Get In The Car

Get In The Car

Looking back on us, I think it was inevitable that we would end up bitter and reeling from the disappointment of everything that was gold that turned gray. All the potential we had, stored up inside us waiting to be made right only wronged over and over again. Everything that made us anything was too outweighed by deceit and confrontation to ever have been something beautiful. I see that now, but she doesn't. You told me your concerned, about changing her. Making her more like you. 

Well you should be.